Stargazing
by enigmatic darling
Summary: She takes four stabs in the back for the place she now fears, despises.


Title: Stargazing

Disclaimer: I **do** own Gilmore Girls, the characters, _and _The WB. Writing fan fiction is just something I like to do in my spare time. ;) **Please don't sue.** I have nothing.

A/N: This was written in Dec. 2003, during the time when I was dreaming up different Season Three endings… and when I found the need to write fluff. ;)

Dedicated to Christie, because without her, I probably would have never posted this fic here. To Lorena, because she has always been so encouraging and nice to me. And to the other three of you that have read this fic; you know who you are. Thanks for all the kind comments.

-

Two dark shadows are visibly shown, deep in the night. They are perched on top of a wooden fence; a lamp lit beside them. They whisper infinite, luminous, soft words that would only be said underneath the beautiful night sky.

The boy, Jess Mariano, circles the girl's slender waist with his arm. Rory Gilmore lays her head on his shoulder; feeling warmer the closer she is to him. Their eyes are gazing up to the dark sky… she watches as his fingers move gracefully in the air pointing to a different star or constellation, nearly every minute.

She can feel the curve on her lips widen. You can hardly notice the weak smile pinned to her mouth, but it doesn't go unseen by him. The corner of his lips widen slightly, passing as a small smile. He bends down and kisses her forehead.

She closes her eyes and breathes in the fresh air; when it's released he can hear her sigh. He looks to the side; a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach forming, soon to take over him. He worries the right time to tell her is now; but he believes he is emotionally unable to.

He can feel her eyes burn through him, cutting deep in his skin. He looks back to the sky, hoping for the stars to mesmerize him with their glorious light. Jess realizes that nothing is going to tear him away from his fear tonight. Her brow crinkles faintly, sensing the different emotion rise into the air. The tension in his body is noticeably felt by Rory; her own feeling of discomfort spreads quickly through her veins.

She feels her own support that she leans against, get up to walk a few feet from her. She is worried herself at the sudden change of mood. His hands are dug deep into his pockets, clenched into fists. His head is bent low, towards the dirt across the floor. The lamplight illuminates his face, casting a dark shadow on the ground.

A knot in her throat forms at how still and quiet he is. She carefully gets off of the fence and takes a few steps toward him. He draws his arm back a little, stretching his fingers vaguely upward, signaling to go no further.

She stops, obeying his request, and stares at him curiously. She wants to find the right words to say, but somehow, the best thing she could come up with is '_What's wrong?'_

But it almost sounds useless for her to say.

Unexpectedly, he is facing her, but his eyes are not looking back at her directly.

His voice is unsteady as he speaks to her; the tone scares her. She's never seen him this way. "I have to tell you something, but I don't know if I can," he tells her.

Her eyes are willing to listen without judging. He takes what he can in comfort. His eyes move to some extent, melding with her blue. His lips begin to move, surprising her, and even more shocking, it is the words that are said through the thick air.

"I saw my dad," he says. He does not look at Rory, scared at how she is reacting. She's probably too shocked to say a word to him. "I… I don't know," he whispers softly, feeling hopeless. He doesn't have the heart to tell her the truth.

"Jess," she says, willing for him to continue. Her eyes are fixed on him, watching. She doesn't even realize the slower pace that her heart adopts. When he responds with absolutely nothing, she walks closer to him, touching his shoulder gently… numbing him.

He turns his head down, afraid, but he realizes it's more of the reason that he's ashamed. She is looking at him patiently, and he knows… it's killing him. Eventually, he cannot take it anymore and looks up at her.

It's always a strange, yet magnificent feeling when he stares into her eyes. He never wants to tear away, but he constantly finds himself captivated. She is surprised at how his eyes look; an intriguing dark, rich color, melted by reservations.

"California," he says lightly; he doesn't know if she hears. "I'm leaving Stars Hollow," he confesses. "For California." The words are drawn out slowly, softly, yet it doesn't prevent any pain. She takes four stabs in the back for the place she now fears, despises.

Cal-i-for-nia.

She trembles at the words that have reached her ears; she hopes she has been dreaming. She looks up to him, looking for a sign that it wasn't true. But what she finds is a reflection of her own eyes.

A knot in her throat rises… and she isn't strong enough to swallow it down. Her blue eyes well up with heartbroken tears. They rise too high soon, and begin to spill over, flowing down her pale face.

Jess turns away, torn at what he has done. Her cries can be heard from where he stands; they resound in his ears. He turns around to find her wiping away the tears in her eyes calmly. He opens his mouth to speak, but realizes no words are coming.

She steps closer to him, and he notices that her tears are gone, but her eyes have remained damp. Her eyes are looking at him with terrified eyes; he has the urge to turn away.

"When are you leaving?" she asks.

There is a long pause, and he feels guilty, keeping her waiting. "Tonight," he croaks. He hears her quiet gasp; he flinches.

They are standing, facing eye to eye, brown to blue. Her bottom lip is shivering; he doubts the cause is the cold. "You don't have to go…" she suggests. She knows it won't change the thing, but she says it anyhow for reasons she cannot explain.

He shakes his head, like she had known. "Rory_—_"

"I understand," she says, cutting him off before he can say anything.

She walks back to the fence, picking up the glowing lamp. She doesn't look at him, but is close enough to let the light elucidate on their faces. She blows it out, slowly. Their shadows disappear in no time. And suddenly, they are alone in the world of darkness.

"Let's go," she says, quietly. She walks over to Luke's car… waiting.

He closes his eyes for a moment, taking it all in. He opens his eyes and walks to the car, trying to avoid her eyes.

He unlocks the doors, and both of them get in at the same time. He looks at her when he starts the car, but she's not facing him. She's looking out the window, up to the night sky.

He turns away, and fixes his eyes on the road. Soon they are driving… and the twinkling, white stars follow.

-

Luke watches them from the diner window, as soon as he says his own goodbye. They walk to the bus stop, where Jess sets down his duffel bag, and waits for the bus. There is silence between them that they cannot break. Luke turns away, knowing he shouldn't.

Her arms are wrapped around her waist, shivering, craving warmth… his warmth.

His eyes are set on the never ending road that will take him away tonight, and will tear him away from her.

She realizes that they will be saying their goodbyes any time now, and that she has no explanations or reasons for… anything. Somehow, he knows what she is thinking.

"I'm ashamed, you know," he tells her. Her eyes immediately follow his voice. His eyes stay focused on the gravel.

"Why didn't you mention anything?" she asks, gently, letting him know she isn't demanding anything at all.

"Because I knew you would change my decision," he answers truthfully. "I can't let that happen."

Her eyes grow dim, and in silence, they wait for the bus that will pull them apart.

A ferocious sound of the engine of the bus is heard, coming from around the corner. Their hearts sink, as they know the end is beginning.

The torn couple stands face to face, unsure of what they are supposed to do. The bus halts in front of them; they only have a minute.

She wraps her arms around him tightly; she's not sure of what her feelings are. She only knows that she doesn't want to let go.

He responds, by welcoming her embrace, hugging her. They pull away slowly, their eyes not letting go of each other. Her blue eyes are beginning to cloud; she hates the feeling that is taking over.

The sound and smoke of the bus begin to affect them… he has to leave. She wants to think of something brilliant and beautiful to say, but she can't think of anything worthy enough.

"Don't… forget me," she says. It is all she can come up with.

He stares at her, significantly intense. He leans in closer, and plants a gentle kiss on her lips. It's entirely soft but still contains its power by pressing his own emotions into the kiss.

They both realize its their last kiss, neither wants to tear away. But its that last kiss, that lets her know that it is mentally impossible for him to ever forget her.

Both of them take a step back; one taking a step closer to departure, the other staying home. He takes his duffel back in his hand as her eyes begin to tear. "Goodbye, Rory," he says.

His back turns away from her, and he walks up the bus steps. Slowly, the door closes; a squeaky sound. She can't stand the thought of watching him leave, so she looks away, hugging herself firmly.

She hears the bus roar, and the sound of the vehicle pulling away doesn't go unnoticed by her. She turns her head up; her wet eyes are polluted by the black smoke. The bus is already far down the street; the smoke slowly disappearing in the background.

At the same moment, they are both gazing at the sky above them. It is an eerie feeling, buried inside, as the stars are reflected in their eyes.

He is watching the stars past him… realizing he is leaving them behind.

-

**Please R&R.**


End file.
